To Love and To Be Loved

Musings on popular culture, specifically unhappiness with the status quo are a common theme in music, but few artists express their distaste as poignantly as Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes. His ten minute, all-encompassing masterpiece "To Love and To Be Loved" is a great example, showcasing not only his social awareness, but also the passion and excellent songwriting he brings to the table. 

Over the course of ten minutes, Mr. Oberst touches on a plethora of varying ideas not limited to: consumerism, education and politics, leaving no uncertainty as to his views on each issue. Conor's passion on these issues echoes the sentiments of a large portion of our country who, during the time of the song (2002), were unhappy, with the Bush administration. Public criticism of Bush became fashionable during this time, with bands such as Green Day catapulting to even greater fame by taking advantage of the current political climate. Conor, however, has never let this passion leave him. Bright Eyes' most recent release, The People's Key (2011), also touches on these topics, though in a different light.

The  intro begins with a monologue of an unnamed man speaking about the Bible, Aliens, Reptilians and other such conspiracy theory related things. While Conor Oberst has always had predispositions to talk such as this (in his 2004 release he speaks of revolt and the world "waking up") he never devoted time to it to this degree. Whether the sections of the albums touching on the subject-matter of the Illuminati are farce or ideas he holds, he is bringing the ideas to light in a big way. Talk of the world leaders being of the "reptilian" race has been around for quite a long time, far before Oberst, and there has even been talk of pop icons such as Lady GaGa being a tool of these very same overlords. Whether or not these ideas turn out to be fact or fiction, Conor Oberst brings an interesting angle to the age-old act of criticism government.

Angel Webb: A Case Study

It’s the newest craze with the kids these days to make Facebook fan pages of varying retardation and specificity. Some people take it very seriously, some ignore this fad all together, and then there are those like myself who spend their free time hunting for those especially special cases so that they may adorn their own profile with these ironic badges of honor. I ran across the following gem a fortnight or so ago and my life has been forever changed.

As an English professor (this one goes out to you Nancy Schafer) this should elicit one of a few responses: disgust, pity or laughter. Being the smug misanthropist that I am, I had feelings of, let’s say, one-third pity, two-thirds humor. But the journey does not end here. Internet snooping is another of my great passions; I’ll always take the opportunity to observe and learn about a person. Think of me as one of those National Geographic scientists who spend weeks watching lions lay around in the wild in the hopes that at some point something worthwhile will come of it, perhaps an epic battle with their mortal enemies: the hyenas. This approach doesn’t always yield some sort of reward, but it amuses me nonetheless. I managed to locate the creator of this fan page and have since friended her. For the last fortnight or so I have been subject to her inane babblings, some of which I will discuss here. 

I’d like to take this time to stress that, while I am having some fun at this girl’s expense, I don’t hold my fourteen-year-old self (did I forget to mention she’s fourteen?) in much higher of an esteem than I hold her. I understand that we all look back at our teenage selves in embarrassment. I doubt she is exempt from this. Her profile was what one might expect from the aforementioned page that brought us together. Read these two excerpts phonetically, out loud, emphasizing the double letters for maximum effect. Some typical examples from her wall include:

“Yehww gohtt me lifted shiftedd higherr thenn thaa ceilingg ! Andd oowhh we ihts thaa altimitee feelingg .. Liftedd feelingg so giftedd Shuuggaa howw yehww gehtt so flyy ?? :) (shuuggaa howw gehtt so flyy ??)”

“I wishh i haadd dorass numbeerr ! CUUZHH WHENN YUU DONTT KNOEE HOWW TO GETT TO WEREE YEHWW GOHTT TO GO .. yehww usee thaa maapp ! I WONDEERR IFF IHTT COULDD HELPP MEE FINDD MYY WAAYY BAAKK TO HISS HEARTT ! </3 (" “

 

I find this distressing. For days and days she updated with nothing but things fitting this template. I began to question whether she knew how to spell properly at all. I even took into consideration that perhaps she had Parkinson’s, or that maybe she is limbless and types with her forehead. Alas, the amateur linguist in me began to notice how her typing style often changed from moment to moment. At some points she typed almost properly. Here we have the most heartfelt and ambitious effort to date, as she shares with us a heartfelt confession. It fills me with the hope that she could have a chance. 

 

“I remember when no one had to tell me they were proud of me cuzh i was proud of myself. Now ivee let myself down andd changed and school doesnt mean as much as it use to.it seems lyke i lost myself. /: Now i gotta get bak to how it use to be and prove myselff ! I want everyone to be like shes the one thats gowna make something out of her life and shes not destined for failure .”

 

How does this fit into popular culture at all? Well, it doesn’t really. I just started writing and here I am two pages later. But I believe we can all agree that one’s writing reflects one’s character.  What kind of character does her writing reflect? Whether the cause is the schools, her upbringing, the media, or a combination of these and other factors, something here is failing her in a big way.

Good Will Hunting as a Life Philosophy

            I love this movie. People often claim to "love" a film but they don't mean it the way I do. I've seen Good Will Hunting at least two dozen times in the past two years, I can quote many of its scenes, I have memorized the soundtrack. I love this movie the way a pious Christian loves the Bible. In fact, I treat the film as such: my own personal guidebook to life. The wisdom contained therein is my Gospel. I am The Prophet Moses of the Cult of Will; Ben Affleck and Matt Damon collectively are my Messiah. It is my goal to bestow a tiny portion of the films vast wisdom upon my readers in the hopes that a poor, misguided soul may buy or rent or borrow or even download the movie and learn a few things. Or if the reader is simply bored and needs to fill a few hours of his or her day, that's okay too.

            Among Good Will Hunting's messages, of which there are many, including but not limited to the ideas of respect, loyalty, child abuse, realizing one's potential, fear of failure, what stands out most for me is the nature of love. In the film, Shawn (Robin Williams), a therapist, works with Will (Matt Damon) and soon becomes a figure Will looks up to and sees as a father. Through reliving various moments he and his deceased wife shared, Shawn teaches Will the joy and nature of finding one's true love while helping Will overcome his tendency to push people away as a result of child abuse. At one point, Will is hesitant to speak to his love interest after a very successful first date, claiming he didn't want to ruin her perfect image in his mind.

 

Will: [about Skylar] Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.

Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.

Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fuckin' boring? Y'know? I mean...this girl is like fuckin' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.

Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. [they laugh] Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...Oh God...

Will: [laughing hysterically] She woke herself up?

Sean: Yes!.... Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. [Will stops laughing] Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you. [src]

            The wisdom here lies in the perception of flaws. It's society's tendency to view flaws and imperfections as a bad thing, and this makes logical sense; an imperfection by definition is an negative quality. The movie posits that this doesn't necessarily have to be the case. People expend tremendous amounts of energy looking for that perfect person, but the reality is they will never find that person and will likely settle for something less. Perfection is unobtainable. A more healthy and helpful alternative is to embrace this fact and laugh at the smaller imperfections. For example: my fiancée, after we had been together for while and were becoming much more serious, began having minor breakouts. She had never had any skin problems in the past and prided herself on her complexion. She had also never been in love before. Nothing had changed in her diet or habits and we've discovered that hormones are the likely culprit. I've come to view these blemishes (which most would see negatively) as an endearing quality for the reason that, in a twisted sense, I'm causing them by putting her hormones in a tizzy.